Make me sad and I'll write you a poem
3 in the morning, still wide awake
Rip my heart open and put a stake
Why wouldn’t You just set me free?
Let my soul gracefully flee
Am I not worthy of Your Kingdom Come?
My soul is tired, facing my monsters, unable to overcome
Why wouldn’t You just take me?
Hoping You give me the freedom to fade away
I wish I could turn back time
Maybe you’ll still be mine
I wish I wasn’t afraid
And just avoided the charade
I wish I showed that I care
Now your guard’s up, that’s fair
Sorry for breaking your heart
Now all I can do is love you from afar…
If you don’t believe in God, believe in karma. She will come at you when you least expect it. I pray for it.
Peace feels like boredom to me
My room an illusion of safety
The devil dances silently with my shadow
Do I want to be saved from this lovely meadow?
Cheating death with science
A game that we play with God in defiance
An endless parade of faces
I’ll find you in both holy & unholy places
If we are fated
Maybe we will meet before I am taken
When God permits our souls to meet…
I want to wake up with you in our home, in the bed that we share
I want to walk with you hand in hand in the streets so that everyone knows that you are mine and I am yours
I don’t want to give half of myself but to be able to give you all of me
I don’t want to be afraid of loving you
I don’t want to be afraid of being loved by you
This time there will be no walls
This time I will not hold back
I know there’s no such thing as forever and ever but I want to spend my eternity with you and only you…
I want to believe that you are out there, maybe wandering like myself
I want to have hope that one day we will finally meet
But until then, I will write love letters for you to read soon…
I’ll fall in love when I’m ready
Even if all my friends have relationships that are steady
I’ll fall in love when I’m ready
Not when I’m just feeling alone and lonely
I’ll fall in love when I’m ready
Not when I just feel lustful to another Timmy
I’ll fall in love when I’m ready
Not when I’m pressured by society
I promise I’ll fall in love again
To a one woman man
I promise I’ll fall in love again
After I heal and there’s no trace of pain
I promise I’ll fall in love again
To that one person who deserves to be loved as much as he loves by then
I promise I’ll fall in love again
And this time it’s going to be worth it, my friend
I still feel empty
Even if I’ve achieved plenty…
What really is my purpose?
I sometimes feel worthless
I want to fall in love with life again
I don’t want to pretend…
That success will end,
This misery that does not mend
When will this chase stop?
Everyone just wants to be on top
I want to live each day
To hear music that I can play
To dance in the rain
To walk and sway
To kiss someone’s tears away
To be present today
– Inspired by the Pixar movie Soul
There was a time that I thought you were The One
I’ve never felt that in a very long time with anyone
I imagined we were in a cottage house with your dog and my cat
I don’t want to erase that thought yet… maybe I’ll leave it like that
So I stayed… even if you still belonged with your past
I didn’t want to leave, I even want us to last
And even if you’re still holding on to someone that you met before me
I shrugged it off, I still believed that you love me
I really hope it be…
I’m sorry that I expected too much
With things that I can see but cannot touch
I’m sorry to leave you
If only you knew…
These feelings and words that I have for you
I’ll forget about it soon and forgive what you do
But I’m not sorry for choosing me
We were never meant to be.
I always come back to this place
I always want to go back and trace
The memories and people that I once chased and embraced
The people that I hate and love that are always in my headspace
People that I once trusted but turned out was a disgrace
People are predictable and disappointing and that’s a fact I’ll have to face
I hid this little girl in a cage to keep her safe
Safe from all the monsters that’s inside of me
These monsters were named depression and anxiety
I don’t want these monsters to scare off this little girl who has so much joy, so much love, and so much hope
So I hid her in a cage to protect her, to keep her safe
Safe from all the people that may just hurt her
I don’t want these people to leave a dent in her heart with sadness, disappointment, and anger
I told her to hide, to always keep a distance I told her to always keep her walls up
I told her to not give her all to anyone
Now I am looking at this little girl, she is all alone. She’s not the same little girl anymore… because now she is scared all the time.
She doesn’t know how to be happy nor how to love fully…
I’m sorry…
I should’ve let you be…
Let you be sad
Let you be disappointed
Let you be angry
Let you be hurt
Let you give your all to someone.
I hope it’s not too late, but I am setting you free. Please allow yourself to be free… There are still monsters. There are still people who can hurt you.
But I want you to live, to feel, and to love.
coldchickensoup